slumpy dumps and snowy photos

I've been in a weird and funky place the last week or two. Nothing horrific, just, not my usual motivated self. I've lapsed into laziness. I started drinking caffeine like a fiend. I haven't taken the dog out or gone to the gym. I do one load of dishes a day and nothing feels clean.

Yesterday I bought paintings for the house and have buyers remorse. I have vague guilty remorseful feelings on the fringe of everything I do, and I can't pinpoint them. I think my overachieving tendencies are warring with my love of leisure and recreation, and this is an uncomfortable place to be in. I discovered a new series that I love to sit around and watch marathon-style, but when I'm doing that, I'm sure as hell not at the gym or walking Juno. I vacuumed yesterday. That was my big success. But I only vacuumed because I spilled garbanzo beans and parsley all over the floor.

Le sigh. I'm not terribly down in the dumps, mood-wise, just not up and pumped like I usually am. This last weekend I had all these great big project plans and did NOTHING. I stayed up til 5am drinking caffeine and eating junk while watching tv on saturday, then slept til 11on sunday and didn't do anything.

The one big accomplishment of the weekend was actually BUYING a wedding cake!!!! We have it done son! Almond cake with an almond/chocolate ganache and buttercream frosting. Soooo delicious. We met with a photographer as well. Very professional, looks great - also super expensive. I started messing around with invitations, but lacked inspiration.

Anyways - I have some great photos from our June Lake trip to post, I started tracking food again this morning, and today I will stop at the gym ON MY WAY HOME FROM WORK. I will trust in that making me feel so productive that the feeling will just continue on.










June Lake was snowy, obviously. It was Juno's first time in the snow and she loved it. We spent HOURS and HOURS chasing snowballs.

seeds started and some dog photos

home home home

Sitting in my robe at 10am listening to Patty Griffith and Allison Kraus on pandora, drinking cold english breakfast tea that I took from the resort in florida out of the "candy cane" striped ceramic cup that I made. My feet are cold, I am congested, watching my puppy pick up the sprinkler attachment and shake it in her teeth outside. I picked the first tangerine from our satsuma tree this morning while I was on the phone telling my boss I couldn't come in today, and I am waiting for Adam to wake up so we can share it.

Read all of Sandra's and Heidi's posts that I missed while I was gone, wondering what I am going to make for breakfast, wanting to go around and clean and knit and go for walks wearing scarves and the earrings I bought from the food court in Orlando, thinking about how I am content to sit here and listen to music and do not much else while I know Adam is in the other room, even though he is sleeping, but as soon as he leaves for work I will be feeling restless and sitting still will not be enough for me.

Yesterday we talked and talked about where we want to live, the children we will have, the lives we want to lead, unschooling and family. I feel buoyant today, despite the cough and cold. The robe I am wearing is incredibly soft, pink, bulky - his Aunt gave it to me for Christmas last year. I bought Adam's sister and my sisters the same souvenir n the Bahamas and that is important to me, somehow. Talking about giving Juno a last name, he suggested his - the name his dad uses for all of his shepherds. Thinking about the fantastic combination of families, if, when...

Gained 5 pounds over this vacation. Remembering that I have the tools to fix that, quickly. Getting back to my planning, my preparation. I have laundry in the garage to move along, and today I will cook the onion and fennel with white wine, under red pepper chicken, orange and green lentils, and broccoli. The Patty Griffith song that just came on is called "Florida" - good timing. I have bulbs to plant and green beans to string up. Rommel is laying in a stripe of sunshine in the backyard between the two citrus trees occasionally snapping at flies that are interrupting his nap.

I love my house, my home, Adam, the dogs, the fish, the ceramic dishes, the trees, the music, the gifts, the blogs, the yarn, the cleaning, the feeding. I am looking forward to a slow day with more Eva Cassidy playing, going from room to room and *touching* everything.

knitting and my dogs...again!

I am slowly trying to go through my things and either find old projects to work on instead of buying new ones. I have sooo many half finished projects - 4 or 5 pairs of socks, gloves, scarves, beanies, latch hook rugs, cross stitch, oh man. So the other day I was just craving doing tiny clicking bamboo needle knitting, and I found a pair of knee length striped socks that weren't even half done - only about 3 inches of one leg was done! It's perfect. I've been working on it just for a day now, and I've already quadrupled the amount I had, and it's neat because I am obviously such a better knitter now than I was 5 years ago when I started.

I put aside the Juliana project for the time being. It's kind of mindless, what with needing to knit 3 feet of the same damn thing, but on the other hand, you also can't tune out completely or you'll wreck the pattern. So it's something I will resign myself to being an ongoing slow project that I will take with me to conferences and things where it's either knit that or knit nothing.

Yesterday was karate - my stomach was hurting so I didn't feel like I was paying good attention, or giving it my all, strength wise - so I tried to concentrate on technique. We did an exercise where we kicked through rebreakable boards - with two of them together instead of just one. My right snap kick is by far my strongest, and the first three were easy, but that darn brown rebreakable board gets me every time. I will work on this! I will also work on my side kicks and my hooking heel, so that when my next belt test comes along I'll be ready.

My puppy got her rabies shots last weekend, and has had enough cycles of her other shots so that I can start taking her places soon! I can't wait! I've been dying to get her on a leash so we can go walk through Central Park and go to the beach and stuff!!! She's such a sweetheart - she has two very distinct moods. There's the Crazy Eyes mood where here eyes roll back in her head and her teeth come out and she rolls around on her back trying to get her pearly whites on anything that will stay still. You have to watch your ankles when she is in that mood. Her other mood is her sweet, calm, loving mood where she follows me around throughout the house as I putter, and when I take a shower she comes and lies down on the shower step and when I do dishes she lies down on my feet! I love this dog. I can't believe how much I love this dog!

The big dog keeps chewing a hotspot on his back so he now officially has been CONED. This means you have to watch out because he doesn't know how wide or painful he is when he tries to brush by you. This also means I need to separate the two dogs because Juno likes to grab onto Rommel's cone and pull. Juno gets the backyard during the day (Rommel has the advantage of more years of house breaking) and Rommel gets the backyard at night (Rommel doesn't struggle with separation anxiety).

Let's see..what else... Adam graduates in...22 days! The week before he graduates, some of his academy friends, their husbands and wives, and me, will be going out to a fancy dinner. He told me a week ago that I need to decide what I am wearing SOON because he doesn't want to deal with my last minute what-to-wear panicking that I always do for every holiday or event. Hah. He knows me too well.

I've been doing a sparkpeople Sweatsuit to Swimsuit Challenge, and I am pleased to report that I haven't missed a day in 2 weeks! Coach Nicole's Cardio Blast DVD with 6 ten minute workouts have saved me so many times - when it's late and I don't feel like going to the gym and I don't even feel like doign 30 whole minutes of working out, I tell myself I am just going to do 1 ten minute segment, and invariably I end up doing more!

I feel like there is so much more I want to talk about, but really I'm just pining for my knitting and my puppy. My knitting is sitting on my desk next to me, and it's so hard not to do that, but I really need to go back to work. Ah! I am so glad this weekend is a three day weekend!

oh hey, my little sister is having her Gold Award Ceremony this weekend! HOW AMAZING IS THAT? REALLY AMAZING, that's what!

doggy and food

Well, Ronia's name is no longer Ronia. We don't know WHAT it is, but Adam and I decided that Ronia is too much like Rommel and the 3 syllable thing just doesn't work for a dog. So we're now trying to think of an Alaska-related name... something like Willow or Sitka or.. I don't know. Ideas?

In other news, I am trying to eat healthy and keep boyfriend eating healthy too. This is hard, as he is resistant to many of the "alternative" staples that I use.... so my mom and I got to talking about Monkey Platters and now I can hardly wait to see how that works out for us!

Last night I made a baked chicken dish with marmalade, soy sauce and bbq sauce, which I marinated the chicken in for a while, then baked in the oven and poured more of the sauce...then flipped the chicken and poured more of the sauce... and then served over brown rice with asparagus and a salad topped with brocolli slaw. It was a hit with Adam, and I like it too. The chicken was super juicy and yummy.

I also made Amish Friendship Bread, but the alternative version. The original recipe calls for 2 cups of sugar and 1 cup of oil, along with the milk and eggs, etc. etc. So I substituted applesauce for oil, and splenda for sugar. The result is a little chewier than the other bread (texture reminded me of the crockpot banana bread I made last week) but it still tastes good. I also chopped up an apple and put that in, just for kicks. Next time I'll also try soy milk instead of regular milk, and maybe adding pumpkin.

The puppy formerly known as Ronia is asleep under my desk. I wish I could sleep. She's doing better sleeping throughout the night - I took her out to pee around 10pm, then again around 2am, then again at 4am, then again at 7:30. She peed every time, but doesn't cry in between that now. Phew. She cries the most when I put her in her crate after breakfast in the morning so I can take a shower and get ready for work. Poor doggy.

She's incredibly driven, very smart, and has endless energy. I am exhausted, but she is still cute enough to make up for it. ;) Her and Rommel have struck an understanding....she bounces around him and jumps up to get his attention, and he pays attention when he wants to. I saw him once put out a paw like, "puh-lease, must we?" It's funny. I never realized how BIG he was until I had her for contrast.

camping in big sur

So I went camping this weekend.....It was so much fun. Totally relaxing. Totally FREEZING. The best part was when we were crazy driving along these gnarly dirt roads, up on this ridge with sheer drops on either side....and we hear a clunking sound like something had just fallen out of the jeep. Turns out the drive shaft broke, and we spent the next three or four hours removing it (adam under the jeep, my foot on the break because of the incline we were at) then we managed to get down to our campsite, ate, slept, and dealt with it in the morning. We dealt with it by using 4 wheel drive to get up out of the valley and into Morro Bay, where we then spent the next 4 hours in an Autozone parking lot. But I was so impressed - Adam managed to spend only about 20 bucks and he FIXED the car. Totally fixed it. Man, my boyfriend is handy. So this picture is him "testing" the jeep around the parking lot. We stopped for a second in Cambria - last time we were there the male elephant seals were there in full force. This time of year there weren't as many elephant seals, but I got a few photos. They're so big. You don't even realize it til you're standing close to one.

This photo is my doggydog playing with me - he does this great POUNCE thing - and he was posing just long enough for me to get some photos.

I did a lot of drawing those 10ish hours while my foot was on the break. I came up with a few cup series that I want to do - I need to go to Aardvarks and invest in a high fire glaze pencil, I think. I'd love to be able to get across what I do on paper onto clay. I've never been good at that. I think I'll take some time to do it soon, because I'd like to start developing a portf0lio for an art therapy program.

So this weekend was a blast. Despite the car troubles, it was fun, relaxing, and wonderful. The cold was intense, but I was always fine at night (I have the most amazing sleeping bag ever) and it was so good to be where there were TREES and not a whole lot of people.

Adam and I also decided it's time to get a puppy. SO EXCITED. He's going to talk to his dad, and ideally we'll be getting a female german shephard. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Idyllwild

Yesterday after work I drove up to Idyllwild where Adam was working (doing National Forest Visitor Use Surveys), and surprised him there! I love that drive - once you get to the 243, anyway - and it seems like such a fairytale to be driving up these curvy mountain roads surrounded by hills with no trees, just tall grass and boulders that look like they were just randomly tossed there. Then, once I got up into the oaks and pines the light was getting ready to disappear and it was one of the nicest drives I've ever had. The directions I had actually got me to Adam's jeep and the look on his face as I came up the trail made it all worth it!

We ate dinner at the Good Times cafe (yum, yum, yum - and every single person who went through that door KNEW the owners. I want to live somewhere like that), and then set up our tent at the county site. We lit a fire, I drew with charcoal and sang for a few hours, then when we realized we were falling asleep, we headed for the tent. Sometime in the middle of the night we woke up and after some confusion, realized that our tent was *SIDEWAYS* and we were looking straight out of the top. We had half an hour of giggling madly pretending like we were in a spaceshuttle. Turns out our tent is so little and flimsy, when Rommel scooches up against the side, he can actually turn the whole thing. The light was amazing when we finally woke up again this morning.

My overwhelming feeling since hitting the 243 yesterday was an increase in my desire to live in a mountain town. It made me so sad to head home today - thinking that I had to get in my car and drive two hours just to see trees. Everything was golden and red and crunchy, and the air was - well, you know, the air that you get at 7000 feet, and I couldn't help it but the whole time we were driving through trying to pick out which cabin I would want to live in.

Anyhoo - I am babysitting tonight, and will hopefully get a lot of knitting on Alex's scarf done. Tomorrow Amber comes over, and I'd like to go to the farmer's market.

rommel and my braided rug

Here is my puppy dog taking a nap on the very first braided rug I ever made. It's the product of..oh..years of tears and frustration. It's made out of tshirts I cut into strips then braided. I have been trying to make braided rugs for evvver, and there was always something wrong with them- usually a puckering that I just couldn't control. When I moved to Huntington Beach, the first thing I did was get a library card, and spent a marvelous hour or so wandering around in the basement getting completely lost in the decimal system. I happened to find what looked like a really old book about braiding rugs...and lo and behold, I found the tools to magically fix all puckering problems. :)

on our way home

Happy, tired ride home.

riley's farm

oh man, three cheers for gaining an hour today. I needed it! Yesterday Adam, Rommel and I went up to the Apple Orchards, which was wonderful. It was cool (it rained today) and there were fall colors, and apples on the trees, and chestnuts and apple cider... we went all over the place, finally eating lunch at Riley's farm and then heading home. We have a jug of apple cider in the fridge and half a peck of red delicious' on the counter.

Today I was an exhibitor at the Down Syndrome Association of Orange County's annual Buddy Walk at the Angel's Stadium. Sadly, it rained and rained and rained - so we couldn't really set up our whole booth, but we hung out for about 4 hours and watched all the folks walking. It was a much larger event than I'd anticipated - next year it'd be neat to get a lot of people there, including our clients. It's kind of Relay-for-Life-esque, but with more little kids.

Now I am at home, wishing I were warmer - I am in love with this pattern that Heidi found so I might take a break from crocheting my granny square coin purses and make something for myself. Oh yeah - I am pausing on the granny square bags and going for coin purses of all sizes - I am crocheting them and then putting a liner and zipper. So far, they are cute, I just want to make them extra special so I am going to put them down for a while and let the ideas for them percolate. Also - I've been crocheting so much lately that I really miss knitting, and it'd be nice to make something for meeee!

I can't believe it's already Sunday afternoon. Man. I am so tired of working fulltime. I want more days to myself.

Today is such a good day. First off, it FEELS like fall - and boy howdy do I love fall. Secondly - I stayed awake until 1:30am so I could go running in the park with my boyfriend and the dog, and we completed week 4 of the Couch to 5k program, which meant we did our longest run yet. It hurt, and I felt so good afterwards. I love running in the park that late at night/early in the morning. Frequently there are sprinklers on, so everything smells wet and good - it's a largeish park in the middle of a city, with a nature center in the middle of it and some open land where they maybe one day might build a senior center, and a few little hills with horse trails behind the equestrian center on the other side of the disc golf course. Every night we go running, we get followed by 3 coyotes. The first time we discovered them, we were up in the hills running on little dirt paths with mustard growing all around us, and the smallest of the 3 coyotes followed us for about 30 minutes before engaging Rommel (the dog.) Our dog is a huge german shephard - as big as the largest of the 3 coyotes. He's also a big sweet pushover, and doesn't really fight back with anything. He played with this coyote for a long time while we watched, then a second one came to play. A third (the largest) skulked around, and then made some aggressive motions, so we took the dog and kept running. They coyotes followed us back to our car but didn't engage.

Every night since then when we go running, they've come out to greet us - except the last couple of times there have only been 2 and they have been more and more aggressive. Adam runs holding a large stick now, if he finds one, and it sure adds to my exercise adrenaline to be followed by those animals. Last night we knew they were around, but they snuck up from behind and one of them rushed Rommel from really close - Adam yelled and ran at the coyotes, and Rommel ran away from the coyote (actually, he probably was running away from Adam's angry yell) and ran into me and knocked me over. (He's a *really* big dog!)

It was towards the end of our run, so we went back up through the sandy part and up the hill to the jeep, and didn't see the coyotes up close again that night. Adam's dad is a coyote expert (if you google Louis Dedeaux, you will find a documentary called Coyoteland. That's him) so we were talking about all of this - Adam's final consesus was that if he had another dog with Rommel, he'd let them fight just to see what happens. As it is, it's not worth the vet bill. Yeesh.

So anyways, I got home around 2:30am, took a shower, and then couldn't sleep. So I am here at work on very few hours of sleep, but feeling surprisingly perky. Although all of the colors are just a leeeetle too bright, I am happy, I feel good, I am about to go to the gym with my boyfriend and then I am going to the YA halloween carnival, then take my test, then go downtown with Becky for dinner then go to my dad's! Let halloween commence!