Sunday, November 29, 2009

I'm getting married!

I'm engaged! Yesterday on my 25th birthday, Adam surprised me by taking me to Top Chef Michael Voltaggio's restaurant in Pasadena - where he proposed on the patio between the first 7 courses and dessert. :)


Friday, November 13, 2009

she feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from china

Cookbooks at the weight watchers meeting today were 1/2 naturally I bought two of them. They're so pretty, I can't decide what I want to cook first. I need some serious grocery shopping time today - in the 9 days I was gone and the 4 I've been sick for, the contents of our fridge have dwindled down to a little bit of non-fat milk, 12 containers of laughing cow cheese, and aloe vera. Time for shopping!

Tonight I think I will make 3 ww recipes - 1: Winter squash soup with butternut squash, onions, carrots and parsnips, 2: lamb kabobs with mushrooms and red peppers, and 3: balsamic vinegar chicken. I will also be buying salad stuff to go with it - and maybe it's time for some new rice as well.

I don't feel as awful as I did, but I still feel run down. I would like to go home and go to sleeeeep. 14 days til the Turkey Trot, so I need to start training for a 5k all over again too. My house is CLEAN and wonderful - trying so hard not to leave those piles. I made curtains which makes a HUGE difference in the livability of the living room/kitchen. Today I have a very small pile of dishes to do, some light maintained-dusting, and I will clean the kitchen floor. It doesn't feel like Friday, it feels like Monday, since I haven't been to work all week - and I keep forgetting that I have the weekend! I have no idea what I am going to do this weekend, none, at all.

Watched Say Anything on VHS last night with Adam - remembered how much I adore John Cusack - especially young John Cusack, but really, all John Cusack. Had weird dreams of crooked fathers and Adam buying multicolored suits. Woke up before my alarm this morning, and despite taking time out to fold a whole load of laundry, was 15 minutes early to work.

WW meeting we talked about forming new traditions, especially activity based ones, around the holidays. Will remember this Thanksgiving to get up and MOVE. I would like to lose this extra 5 pounds in the next 2 weeks. I think I can, I really think I can - I just need to stick to my food/exercise. Today I had ww oatmeal for breakfast (2 pts), and a subway salad with olive oil/chicken (5 points). I am full feeling - with many, many points left for the day.

Got out one of my Alaskan cross-stitch patterns yesterday too - looking forward to working on that later tonight when I am done with dishes/cooking/etc. I want my house. I want my home. I am super-nesting-girl right now. When did I turn so agoraphobic? There is nothing nicer to me than my own living room.

Yesterday I drank tea while eating tangerines from my tree singing leonard cohen to myself, giggling quietly with satisfaction. I have it. It is mine!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

the fascinating saga of a sick-at-home person..

Have been going around this morning trying to clean up the little piles that collect when you are sick - the stacks of books and glasses by the bed, the little bits of trash from the immune-c packets, the knitting needles and skeins of yarn left by the couch where I abandon them after 2 minutes of interest... and in cleaning up this clutter I am realizing how dusty my house is. Doing every bit of laundry, including sheets, blankets and dishcloths, organizing dresser and computer desk, eating honey-nut cheerios with a chopped up fuji apple on top of it and way too much splenda, Bonnie Raitt playing on pandora. Above our windows we have the hardware already installed for curtains - maybe that would be a good project for today.

Adam works late tonight. We fell asleep reading Twilight aloud to each other last night. It's like reading the Boxcar Children all over again - very compelled by the story/characters, but DAMMIT I wish a better writer had thought of it. Maybe JK Rowling can do a re-write.

We had another installation in our series of Talking-About-Raising-Kids last night, only this one was a little grittier. This morning he said he'd had anxiety dreams about showing up at the Dodd house nekked. Let's interpret that one, shall we? I wonder why he is stressing this so much right now - I would like to have kids in the next 5 years, but it's another 5 years even after that before he needs to worry about school options, and by that time he'll KNOW his kid and it won't be an issue. I wonder why it's all coming up this week.

I had a moment of weakness that wasn't a big deal last night but I wasn't proud of, either. I am trying very hard to not do what we have coined "throwing attitude around" - in that it's a)an ugly face/expression, b)very self-defeating, c)makes me feel small-souled, d)adam hates it. It comes out in many situations, and after every single one if I stop and think, I can see how it would have been SO MUCH BETTER if I had just paused and-changed one little reaction. I've been doing better and better, and last night I woke up at a weird time and Adam was watching something on TV I didn't want to watch and I was just plain CRANKY and I picked on him for that reason - and I hate that as I am doing something, the smarter, calmer, not-cranky part of me is thinking "Roya, whatcha doing? You know that that is not the way to get what you want" but I ignore that part of me. Like I said - not the end of the world, just frustrating for me on my path to perfection (harharhar) when I CHOOSE the meaner option.

Anyways - I have one more load of dishes, a couple loads of laundry, and some dusting to do. Then fabric hunt, curtains, photos at karate, and making lunches for tomorrow. All to the tune of old recorded Gilmore Girls, I'm sure.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

home home home

Sitting in my robe at 10am listening to Patty Griffith and Allison Kraus on pandora, drinking cold english breakfast tea that I took from the resort in florida out of the "candy cane" striped ceramic cup that I made. My feet are cold, I am congested, watching my puppy pick up the sprinkler attachment and shake it in her teeth outside. I picked the first tangerine from our satsuma tree this morning while I was on the phone telling my boss I couldn't come in today, and I am waiting for Adam to wake up so we can share it.

Read all of Sandra's and Heidi's posts that I missed while I was gone, wondering what I am going to make for breakfast, wanting to go around and clean and knit and go for walks wearing scarves and the earrings I bought from the food court in Orlando, thinking about how I am content to sit here and listen to music and do not much else while I know Adam is in the other room, even though he is sleeping, but as soon as he leaves for work I will be feeling restless and sitting still will not be enough for me.

Yesterday we talked and talked about where we want to live, the children we will have, the lives we want to lead, unschooling and family. I feel buoyant today, despite the cough and cold. The robe I am wearing is incredibly soft, pink, bulky - his Aunt gave it to me for Christmas last year. I bought Adam's sister and my sisters the same souvenir n the Bahamas and that is important to me, somehow. Talking about giving Juno a last name, he suggested his - the name his dad uses for all of his shepherds. Thinking about the fantastic combination of families, if, when...

Gained 5 pounds over this vacation. Remembering that I have the tools to fix that, quickly. Getting back to my planning, my preparation. I have laundry in the garage to move along, and today I will cook the onion and fennel with white wine, under red pepper chicken, orange and green lentils, and broccoli. The Patty Griffith song that just came on is called "Florida" - good timing. I have bulbs to plant and green beans to string up. Rommel is laying in a stripe of sunshine in the backyard between the two citrus trees occasionally snapping at flies that are interrupting his nap.

I love my house, my home, Adam, the dogs, the fish, the ceramic dishes, the trees, the music, the gifts, the blogs, the yarn, the cleaning, the feeding. I am looking forward to a slow day with more Eva Cassidy playing, going from room to room and *touching* everything.