Friday, February 26, 2010

sitting in the car in the heaviest snowfall i have ever been in while adam adjusts the chains. juno met and fell in love with the snow for the first time!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

parked outside of paiute casino. discussing virtues of victorian vs adobe vs cabin. adam has bad taste. good thing i am here to educate him.
in bishop on our way to june lake, near mammoth. dogs in the back, smells like snow and fire. gas station man looks like george carlin.

Tango and Creme Brulee

Last night I could have written the most beautiful things about my very cool experience, but today I have drifted back into the mundane and am losing the feel of the magic. I'll describe it, though, as best as I can because I want to remember it - but - well, I lost something already.

There's this place called The Basement in downtown Long Beach - and if you don't know Long Beach, I can't help you. You need to live there to know it. I live on the outskirts, lived in Signal Hill for a minute, attended college in it, my cousins live in it and play in it and work in it, and I dated a guy who lived in it, and so I am allowed to know it but not belong to it. Long Beach is a culture unto itself. I could spend my life writing about Long Beach. I am fascinated. I love it. I walk carefully around the edges because when I let myself cross that border I don't want to leave.

Last night I dressed up in a black cocktail dress, wore my pearls and houndstooth coat, added extra mascara to my lashes, and headed to The Basement, my friend Kim in tow. It was a magical night - raining just enough so that the sidewalk looked gold from the streetlights. We found free parking - as if we needed proof that there was something special going on.

We headed down the stairs, gave our three dollars, "lbm" written in sharpie on the back of our hands, and met up with my cousin Alex and the folks he hangs with these days. We got the famous champagne in a can, complete with pink sippy straw, and lounged in the swankiest lounge in long beach (according to the website).

There's usually a poetry slam before the main event, though tonight there was a lack of participation, so it was limited to a 3 person open mic. I liked the idea of it more than the content of it - the first poet I don't remember at all. The second one was okay - indulgent. The third was ridiculously awful, a caricature of what bad beat poetry looks like today - with forced pauses in unnecessary places just to-be-a...poet, then talkingrealfast to - pause - switchit....uuuup? She did fake maniacal laughter at the end. I was not impressed. However, I was delighted by the whole damn experience, so it was okay. And honestly, I have heard many worse open mic nights.

Then, Derrick, the host of the evening started the real thing. It's called the Lightbulb Mouth Radio Hour - and it's an old fashioned variety show for radio - they podcast it - and it's just - quirky and eccentric and great. You feel a little bit like you are in a speakeasy - they encourage people dressing up, so they are in vests and hats and suits. They sang "on Broadway" but changed the lyrics so that it was "in Long Beach" - each radio hour they have 1 musician, 1 informationist, and 1 poet.

The musical guest was the band We Barbarians - thoroughly enjoyable. I was iffy (I'm always iffy) until the girl who was playing piano started doing background vocals. Then I bought in.

The informationalist was an Armenian guy who lived in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. Interesting perspective.

The poet - though - my God, the poet - Brendan Constantine - was PHENOMENAL. He's bald, looked like gay Bruce Willis, and he twists his torso when he reads. After the reading, he was interviewed by Derrick - which I actually enjoyed even more than his poetry itself. He talked about poetry being a necessary tool for some people - an organizational system for them to figure out the world.

After that, the show was over.

I'll try to post more later - I've been writing this off and on all day and can't focus anymore.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


today - emailed local stitch n bitch group to see if they are still active. want more people with common interests in my day to day life!

in this search found Liscat - very cool looking yarn shop/community. will be going there next paycheck. yes indeedy.

going to mammoth tomorrow night.
re-read old emails from me to my family while I was in Alaska.
so glad I wrote so many details down - things I didn't remember I'd forgotten.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

superbowl photos

seeds started and some dog photos

third orange shawl post

more orange shawl

My orange shawl

photos of some stuff I've made lately

sunday morning rain is falling

Today was a Good Day. I woke up early and took Juno to Adam's dad's house (he will now be referred to as "Louis" since that's his name, and now you know who I mean when I say "Louis") for a training session! She has some very worrying aggressive tendencies towards other dogs, and Louis is beyond words phenomenal with dogs. All animals, really, but his whole life has revolved around dogs - he's Captain of animal control or something or other for LA. Anyways, I got there around 7:30am, worked with him and Juno for about 1.5 hours, got home and had a good morning with Adam, ate a healthy breakfast, then went over to hang out with my mom, dad, and Rosie. Made a sandwich, showed off my new shawl... pleasant times.

Got home and reorganized my home-office area. Moved a few things around to take advantage of the wall space, hung a cork-board and stuck a few photo booth photos on it. I am now sitting in dappled sunlight listening to Lady Antebellum while Chris and David blow up bad guys on the computer behind me.

Still on my list of to-dos is to take Juno for a walk/run, feed the dogs, do a bunch of laundry, a load of dishes, and take photos of my finished projects for ravelry.

Good, pleasant day.

Friday, February 19, 2010

I bought seeds yesterday!!! Can't wait to get home and start planting.

Buttercrunch lettuce
Green Ice Lettuce
string beans
Finger carrots
red onions
green onions
pickling cucumbers

and I am sure I am forgetting some.....

Did another section of the orange shawl. Worked on my cotton market bag some yesterday.

Going to start doing Couch 2 5K again, starting today.

this weekend also - finish building fence, paint fence, take juno to adam's dad's for training, see movie with my dad, glaze ceramics, go to AAA for registration? And...............

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Purple shawl

This is the shawl I was talking about in the last entry. I'm not too thrilled about the colors in these photos - doesn't show up the richness of the yarn, but oh well. My co-worker, Rosie, is the model in some of them, and I am in the other ones. The one where I am holding it and you can see my face - she was playing with a feature of the camera where it will grab just one color and the rest will be in black and white. Pretty nifty.
I did another two sections of my new orange shawl last night, more photos of that to come too. I'd like to take pictures of all the projects I have laying around my house - if for no other reason than I'd like to update my projects page with them so there aren't those ugly blank image squares.

Yesterday I took the Juno-dog on a pretty long walk with my dad. She did so much better than she ever has with me before. I'm encouraged, and I feel, finally, like a good pet owner. Adam fell asleep watching Rome in the living room last night, and sometime during the night I woke up to find that Juno had climbed into bed with me, where she stayed til I left for work this morning.

I joined the Freedom Gardner's networking site today - made me excited to start seeds with my dad. I'm very excited about the time change and having daylight when I get home from work. My next step is to finish the fence with Adam so that I can have a garden that remains dog-free. Juno discovered a taste for zucchini last year - I'd go out back and find just a little stump where there used to be a whole vegetable.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

work, developmental disabilities, heritage arts, wisconsin, self-sustainability and MORE!

Today was one meeting after another - It started at 8:30 with the supervisory meeting, and ended at 12:00 with the safety committee meeting. Then lunch, and a long long long conversation with various co-workers about our program. Those are the talks I like the best - when we talk specifics about our clients and get into the WHY's behind their behavior. I don't get to do that very much, because I'm not really in a department, I'm doing my own thing.

That was one of my favorite things about working for Young Adventurers Day Care - the monthly staff meetings where we discussed in GREAT detail about specific kid situations - kids who were acting out and why we thought it was happening...we heard about the family situations, the sibling situations, and talked about what approach we would all take with them. I love that.

Here at PI, I am working with adults, but they are all developmentally disabled, and many a behavioral issue comes along with that. There's A, who saves every piece of shavings she gets when she sharpens her pencils - has jars and jars of them. There's S who tapes the wrapper from every piece of gum he chews to his apartment wall - with the date he chewed it written on it with pen. There's T and G and their relationship - to each other and to food - there's J and his 8+ times a day phone calls, B and her hugging, D and her fascination with textiles, J and his lists - I mean, MY list goes on and on and on - and I LOVE IT. That's why I'm in this field, that's what holds my interest and fascination with this population. They are fantastic people with a slightly more obvious explanation to their outward behavior. Our different groups of staff who work with them weekly get together and do this discussing at their staff meetings. I listen in sometimes, when they are meeting during my lunch. They go through each client on their load and talk about how they are doing....

Anyways, today involved lots of informal impromptu THAT, and it's incredibly satisfying for me.

At our Supervisory Meeting we are continuing our series on "first, break all the rules" and have moved on to the guy's 2nd book - which is all about playing to your strengths. It's about disbanding the thought that to improve yourself you should spend most of your time working on your weaknesses - not only is it frustrating, but you see fewer results and successes leading to less self-efficacy, and you bring yourself up to mediocre rather than excelling at what you are already strong in. I read something similar in a leadership book a few years ago when I was housesitting for KJ - flip the 80/20 rule - spend 80% of your time working on your strengths, sit back and WATCH yourself get excellent. You don't ignore your weaknesses completely - but you channel your strong suits and get better n better.

I really like this idea. It feels GOOD to do things you are good at. This is the way you create expertise - which is something I have long pursued and admired in many people. I always felt like such a dabbler that I was afraid I would never achieve expertise in any one thing, and I really looked up to the people in the fields I was interested in who had what I thought was pure self-discipline to focus on one thing until they became an expert.

At this point I don't feel the need to abandon all of my pursuits to focus on just one - but I like the thought of developing my strengths and applying THOSE specific things to all areas of my interests.

I also am better at labeling my interests - I might feel as though I'm interested in a gajillion things (which I am) but you know what? A HUGE amount of it falls under the umbrella of "heritage arts" - voila. If I was feeling inwardly scattered before, I have just neatly organized myself without taking a single thing away.

In any case -

Today was a good day at work. I finished the shawl I was working on this weekend and took a few photos for ravelry. Last night I hung out with my mom and dad for a while which was nice, because even though I see them pretty frequently, I hadn't had good catching up time, especially with my dad. My hyacinth are beautiful. Adam and I are going to June Lake next week for a mini-vacation. I called his dad yesterday and set up some Juno-training time for this weekend. My dad and I might go see a movie this weekend. I went to Joann's, piled yarn in my basket, then emptied it all and only took 3 of the 15+ skeins I'd originally wanted (thank you, self-control and the article I read on sparksavings about impulse buying last week) - 1 of the skeins is blue cotton for the market bag I started crocheting this weekend, and the other two are for another shawl.

I've decided shawls should definitely make a comeback. I'm wearing one right now, as a matter of fact. Talk about your heritage arts - I need to do a study on shawls and their importance, because I know they are, I FEEL they are, but I don't have the facts to back it up. But I feel very connected to - well, don't laugh, but - Laura Ingalls when I wear one. She IS my barometer of all things heritage-artsy, after all. My one day camp should probably be named "Wilder" or something, just for her. You know (tangent alert) when I was little, my aunt bought me a few bonnets and I had a dress that was exactly western-expansion style, and I wore that more than my real clothes. I should go back and re-read Laura Ingalls Wilder. I should go back and not only re-read her, but try recreating some of the stuff they did - like making maple syrup candy in the snow. (Second tangent) - that was one of the coolest things about the time I spent dating a guy from Wisconsin - the day I was visiting his family and we went and tapped the maple trees that they had. Straight out of Laura Ingalls! Also, they made really, really, really good apple cider. ;)

So I've got this shawl, another one on the needles, the market bag, two pairs of socks that are each 1/2 done, a dozen or so felted coin purses that just need to be needle felted and have zippers sewn in, and a bunch of granny squares waiting for lining and purse handles.

I want to go back to the time I spent in Wisconsin for a minute - and tie it in with my time in Alaska. For that matter, I want to tie Oregon in it too - something I love, and respect, is self-sustainability. I mean this in big and little terms. I'd love to live on my camp with systems that we created, maintained, repaired, and benefited from, without taking from other people/resources. I want to have animals, gardens, get my fibers from these things, make the dishes and the furniture and the food - get back to the beginning of everything. I am not in a place to do that completely, nor do I feel as though I have the knowledge to do that. I'd get frustrated and things would be a mess. So what I am trying to do is one project at a time - make the ceramics in my house. Make the blankets. Make the hats and the gloves and the cushions and the picture frames. I think it is more beautiful, and it means so much more to use a cup I made from start to finish.

In Wisconsin, my then-boyfriend's family built their own house, and except for some grains, ate mostly what they grew/gathered. The shower was water boiled on the stove, taken upstairs, and a gardening can hung on a hook from the ceiling. The salad was gathered from the greenhouse right before we ate. The side dish were nettles I'd accidentally stepped in earlier. There were things I did not like about their lifestyle - they were SO self-sufficient with a fair dose of shy that it didn't seem as though they spent much time in the company of other people, and I think I would have gotten very lonely - but I really liked the food aspect of how they lived (except for the miso soup. I will never like miso soup. Never. Never. Never.)

In Alaska, that was one of the neatest things that really, I felt, permeated the culture in which we were immersed. When something broke - no one called a plumber or electrician or mechanic - you just looked at it, stood around with your arms crossed for a minute - said a few words to the person standing with crossed arms next to you - and went and got the tools to fix it, while the other person cleaned up whatever mess it'd made. Cars weren't cosmetic, they were functional - and kept functioning as long as the people could hold them together with wire and duct tape and parts from snow machines (in alaska snow mobiles are snow machines, they don't need the things that make the snow ;)). The cabin needed a new outhouse? We dug a hole, moved the structure, covered up the old one. The path was swamped? We dug out the mud to let the water flow under, and built a new one - using a birch tree WE cut down and stripped of bark. Porcupines getting under the cabin? We attached the chicken wire. Toilet broke and water flooded everywhere? We fixed it. Needed a shower? We made one. Granted, I lived in a cabin and on a ranger compound, so we had tools, but even at the people's houses we met - they were the ones putting on a new room, building the dock - there was very little talk of HIRING anybody to do something around your own house or land.

On a smaller scale, that's one of the things I really like about the time I've spent in Oregon, too - not so much the fixing everything with your own two hands, but using the stuff you have. Want to grow herbs on your windowsill? Chances are, in one of my friend's apartments, there are jars that have been saved from peanut butter and jelly that you can use. I guess this is the recyling portion of the blogpost, but for all of you who do not live in Orange County, California - it is a VERY DIFFERENT CULTURE HERE. Not that we are incapable of saving one thing to use in another way, but it's - different. A different focus or emphasis, as a whole.

I made marmalade from my trees, and was thrilled that I did it, and everyone acted like I'd gone to the moon.

I think it would not have been such an unusual thing in other places.

I live in a weird little out-of-touch bubble. I do love where i live - I grew up here, 5 minutes from the ocean, 2 hours to snow, 1 hour to real desert, 30 minutes to museums and downtown city stuff - but the lifestyle I want to lead more and more is not the norm in this area. Is that a problem? Maybe it's a cop out, to move to somewhere where it's *easier* (or more widely accepted, understood, just done) -

my rambling has gone on long enough that I am tired of the sound of my own voice - even if I am writing.

Things I'm thinking about.

And I finished the shawl.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

banking and knitting.

On hold with my bank - trying to get my darn 1099-INT form, which is going to have all of .75 worth of information on it, but I can't file my taxes until I get it....three weeks ago I called them, they said they'd send it to me ASAP, but didn't - now it's online, but the link is broken. Soooo here I am, listening to the golden-oldies on the phone.

I called the two separate pharmacies I go to to get my compounded medicine, picking that up today, so, yay.

Planning on going to the recycling plant today also.

Adam and I are planning a super-cheap trip up to June Lake (Mammoth) for next week! Our friends Marco and Kylie have the chance to use someone's cabin up there - they are going snowboarding, but I will not be, I will be knitting! Hiking! Hanging out where there are TREEEEEEEEEEEES. That is, if I can get Friday off. We'll drive up Thursday night, come home Saturday. Sunday is my mom's birthday. I am so very pleased that Adam came up with this scheme, and recognizes how much I need some time with him.

Last night we took the dogs for a walk, and after sat on the front step and smelled the sombol (hyacinth for you english speakers). This morning I went out to the back and picked a bunch of tangerines for lunch today. Last night I made asparagus with parmesan, olive oil, and lemon zest, chicken with onion and lemon juice (can you tell I have tons of lemons?), carrots with garlic and thyme, and a pot of lentils. It's pretty much the perfect meal. Protein, veggies, healthy oils, and it's really very beautiful - orange and green and yum.

I am two sections away from being done with the shawl I started yesterday. I'm using up a bunch of my Lion's Brand Homespun from my stash - now that I get this pattern (it's really simple and beautiful) I forsee many a shawl getting made with stash yarn. I also started making a crocheted "market bag" - but I ran out of the cotton yarn pretty fast. Luckily, I'm making it out of pretty cheap yarn so I can go get more of it without breaking my budget.

I finished both of Katy's cat hats!!! They are SO cute. I need to take some photos, and then ship them off to her! I love them. I love beanies. I never wear beanies, but I love the idea of them. I don't wear shawls either, for that matter, but I see those making a comeback - it gets so cold in my office, I will definitely bring one here to use.

Monday, February 15, 2010

the best part about being sick is the knitting

I always thought I was cheerful and optimistic. I have lately, however, come to the disgruntling realization that although I can be chipper, perky, happy - it usually is fairly dramatic, even when it's a positive sort of dramatic, and it's not particularly sustainable. I have been feeling more and more like my default mode is a negative one - when someone asks how I am, the first thing out of my mouth is a complaint. When I finish a movie, it's the parts I didn't like, that I mention.

I am straying from the 14-year-old-me thought that total and complete BLISS is what I am going for - I'd like my life to be pleasant, overall. Pleasant is what I am shooting for as my default mode. Not that I can't be pissed off, displeased, annoyed, or unsatisfied - but I want to CHOOSE those times. It's the default mode I am most concerned with.

I'd like to think it's most habit - not that I really am unhappy, just I've gotten into this negative rut. I'd like to think it's habit, because THAT, I can do something about.

For any goal, I like to have measurable objectives - but - this time around, I think I am just going to say that whenever the occasion comes up to give my opinion, I'm going to say something positive FIRST.

Next time we'll tackle the idea of intellect over emotion, control over emotions, choosing when to cry, and how to get what I want next week.

as for now, I am going to do more dishes, take vitamin c, drink a lot of water, and maybe give Marina a call. To combat the restless results of being sick for two days, I need to change my situation - even if it's just moving from couch to bed. Cleaning something would help, too!


My little sister, Rosie, had a tv-themed birthday party. It was faantastic, we had everyone from Mister Rogers to Wilson (from Home Improvement) to - Pam and Jim! Thank you Adam for dressing up as 3-hole-punch version of Jim. I was a little perturbed by the fact that I had everything I needed for Pam in my closet already...because that's what I wear to work.

Friday, February 12, 2010

this is a test! can i really update from my cellphone? really? is it true? adam sent me flowers at work today, i got up early n exercised before work...good day

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

piggy banks and urban dictionaries

Yesterday I received an invitation from to be part of the test group for - a personal finance tool, with all the great resources of the personal healthy living tools that sparkpeople is. It's FANTASTIC. It's prompted me to figure out my financial goals, and start saving - even my pennies.

It also got me to empty my three change collections and count them - I have one old apple cider jug that has a beautiful label on it, straight from the apple orchards. That jug is so pretty it sits on our bookshelves in the living room. That's my "down payment on a house" fund now.

I have another actual piggy bank - it's a blue ceramic pig with orange and red stars all over it - I glazed it at Color Me Mine many many years ago. I had lost it, change and all, when my parent's house caught on fire, and found it in one of the boxes they cleaned and returned. It's my "a new pair of work-pants" fund.

The other change jar is one of those big 3 gallon blue glass water jars. It was given to me by Kim Fisher, my ex-boyfriend's mom, when I was about 18. She gave one to her son too. I decided when I got it that I would save all of the money in there for my one-day-camp. Last night I counted it for the first time and I have almost $300. That's a LOT of pennies.

Today was a co-workers birthday lunch, so we went to Red Robin. Now none of us feel like buckling down and focusing, so we are looking up our names on - I didn't think mine would be on there, but lo and behold -

Roya hot ass persian girl who is usually the best looking girl you can find. She is any guy's dream fantasy (hence the definition of her name in Farsi is "fantasy) usually she has dark hair eyes makes her mysterious and sexy.
Holy crap...i just saw a Roya...and DAMN did she look fine!

1. A Devilish Brunette
2. One dark haired beauty who's intoxicating company (hot bod, flashing eyes, sly smile, and dry wit) teases all your fantasies but never fulfills them, and yet makes you always want to see her again. Especially potent in combination with hot-tubs or practice midterms.


Maybe I should put "hot ass persian" on my business cards.

Today I *accidentally* woke up Adam before going to work, so we had a few minutes of nice in the morning - it's amazing how time of day affects us. We're both sooo tired by the time he gets home around midnight, that if that is the only time we interact, it drags us down. Having morning time with him is so important, and we haven't gotten much of that at all lately. The city of LA has been laying off so many people, he's stressed about that. They have a huge city meeting today - crossing my fingers.

Trying to think now of ways to make money to save. ;) I've got all that marmalade - where do I sell it?? I've used up my coworkers I think.
I have the two hats for Katy - one is done. Working on number two.
Julie's chairs - I need to print the rest of the fish out and then I'll be done with Chair 3, and can start on Chair 4.
I've also got a scarf in the works for Becky.
Those are my priorities.

Then I can get back into setting up my etsy shop, and trying to use the materials I already own, rather than buy new ones!

Monday, February 8, 2010

when the saints go marching in

This weekend was a fantastic reminder of finding happiness in the small stuff. Sunday we held a superbowl party, so Saturday Adam, Chris and I spent about 10 hours cleaning our house - we got a carpet cleaner, we scrubbed the top of the fans, the bottom of cupboards - we did everrrything our little house has needed for quite some time. We even rearranged all of the furniture in the livingroom. It looks great. It was a good day - we paused briefly for subway sandwiches and for them to play a computer game while I arranged the books on the bookshelves by color, and then back to cleaning.

At about 8pm, Adam and I got dressed up, took the carpet cleaner back, and then went out for date night! We ate at Taco Surf on Main Street in Seal Beach - which is one of my favorite streets in the world. We stopped at coldstones AND at Sweet Jills (land of the best cinnamon rolls in the world) - to get something for later. We went next door to a bar with a free pool table, and played a couple of games while a Super Hero birthday party partied-hearty all around us. Lots of capes and glitter.

Yesterday was fantastic too - the guys woke up early to go play some football, so I got my beautiful clean house to myself while the birds -actually- chirped outside. I opened up all the windows and worked out to my p90x dvd, then cleaned the kitchen floor, took a fantastically hot shower, and then finished knitting sock 1 of my santa fe socks while watching southpark. Roxana and I went to Smart and Final where I overdid it on snack foods, and then it was party time! Marco, Kylie, Steve, Kristen, Jesse, Chris, David, Roxana, and later Jaime. I won the first quarter score, we ate a bunch, and it was - so relaxing, to be around these folks. We're all in each other's upcoming weddings, we've all gone camping together - the guys have known each other since they were 10 years old, some of them. It's a good, very solid, group.

After the game the boys started playing Madden on the PS3, and the girls went into my room to look at my wedding dress. We broke open some champagne and I got the best fix of girltalk I've had in a long time. I am so glad that my soon-to-be husband's best friend's soon-to-be-wives are so wonderful, and I like them so much.

I am looking forward to getting off work today - heading home, straightening up just a little bit, and then doing p90x yoga. I am on the "recovery" week - although 1.5 hours of yoga doesn't feel like recovery to me. ;)

Friday, February 5, 2010

the story of my most serious injury

The Story of My Most Serious Injury

Almost exactly a year ago I posted a list I'd taken from my mom's blog (which is sad and very lacking in content...she needs to update!) with blog topics, thinking I'd revisit it a lot and write about it when I don't have other things to write about. Let the laughter start now - I always have something, so I haven't spent much time with the list. I saw it today, though, and liked it.

So here is the story of my most serious injury

When I was about 13 years old I was in a homeschooling group called Rainbow Kids. We would meet every Thursday at various parks around Orange County. This particular Thursday was a beautiful day in April, and we went to a park in San Dimas to celebrate Earth Day. The plan was to go around picking up trash, and then do some earthy activities. I remember crawling through bushes so thick I scratched up my arms to get to some broken glass.

Later I took this glass and sat around a table with friends - Tristan Olk was there, but he's the only person I remember sitting at that table. Maybe Sean Teagarden, but I could be making that up. We were making sculptures out of found stuff (trash) and I had decided to make a stained-glass-esque candleholder out of a jar and the broken pieces of glass I'd picked up earlier.

A particularly pretty amber color caught my eye, but it was a whole jar and needed to be broken into pieces. I think it was Tristan who had the hammer, so he broke it for me. I got up from where I was sitting at the picnic table to walk around to get the pieces when I tripped.

I put my hands out in front of myself to catch myself as I fell, felt a sharp stab, and looked down at my wrist. You know that scene in Star Wars where Han cuts open that big smelly animal to shove Luke inside to get him warm? That is what flashed through my head right there - it was like the animal insides coming out of my wrist. Only much more blood.

I remember grabbing my arm, and saying "someone get a grown-up" and that's the last thing I remember before coming to with my nose about 2 inches from the ground. I remember oak leaves, and someone on either side of me. Then I remember waking up in the front seat of my mom's car. Jocelyn Vilter was holding my wrist up in the air from where she sat in the backseat, my friend Lindsey Muscato was there too. My mom, it seemed, was driving over every railroad track possible. I remember the bumps.

Then I remember the novacain shots. All 11 of them. Inside the gash on my wrist. I remember the doctor telling me that it was a very bad cut, even though the glass I fell on was blunt - it didn't slice so much as stamp my wrist. I remember hearing something about not having the same use of my hand/fingers as I had before. I remember holding Lindsey's hand so hard that she got hurt. I remember the awful color of the goop they spread all over it later. I remember the orange wristband. I remember going home and falling asleep immediately. I remember the color of the pink pen I wrote with in my journal when I got home, and the letter I wrote to my friend's Ginny and Roz who were on vacation.

About a week and a half later, the skin around my bandages started getting itchy and irritated, and even began bubbling up. We thought I was allergic to the adhesive, but even when I switched out tapes and bandages, it remained. We were at Souplantation with Rainbow Kids when Tizza looked at it and said "poison oak!" Remember those bushes I'd crawled through to get the glass that ended up cutting me? Poison Oak. Talk about adding insult to injury.

It didn't take that long to heal. While the rest of my swim team was in the pool, I used the YMCA's gym, which overlooked it, so I didn't feel that left out. I had 8 stitches on the outside and 5 on the inside. It looked like an ugly caterpillar on my wrist. I had a few cuts on my other hand too. Whenever I got cold, the scar would turn red.

I have full and fantastic use of my hand, and a scar that I can still make "dance" if I wiggle my thumb just right.


I am on the hunt for scholarships, if anyone has any access or ideas.

This post is just me collecting research:

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Spent some time today changing the banner for my etsy shop. Still not exactly what I wanted, but it took me forever to figure out how to get it sized correctly - now that I can do that, I can go in and play with it more in the future.

i have so many projects on the backburner...Finished 1 of 2 of Katy's hats yesterday, maybe I will start number 2 today. Have Julie's chairs which I was just kind of waiting til a lack of rain and dog hair made it easier to paint without it getting messed up - and I have a whole closet full of half-done projects. I have a lot of socks that just need the toes to be grafted. I should get on that.

Thinking about what else I can do to make my etsy site look more attractive, and attract more business. Any thoughts?

My biggest sellers in person are my little felted coin purses - maybe work on getting a bunch of those ready to sell sometime too would be good. The Good Vibrations conference wiped me out completely!

Sold a few jars of my marmalade today - almost made enough money to pay for the sugar and jars. ;) That's fun...

Leaving here soon, then home - Adam took the dogs to his dad's, so it'll be my chance to...what? need to do laundry, need to do dishes, need to make lunch for tomorrow, need to do p90x... Tomorrow we have date night. Yay. Necessary.

Feeling truncated. Bye.

it's the small stuff

great sticker from Kelly Lovejoy

*the purple eyeshadow and really pretty way I did the eyeliner
*the new shoes which have received 4 compliments from the 4 people I've talked to so far today
*adam's skin against the green blankets when I left this morning
*the hyacinth bulbs that are getting some color to them
*the soft fur on Juno's ears
*Chris cleaning the shower door
*Protein for breakfast
*The desk calendar that Tulip bought me for no specific reason

A snippet from said desk calendar:

"Knitting is really good for your mental health - despite the moments when you think that it's the opposite. It's a great way to practice being successful, tackle problems without fearing terrible consequences, and watch yourself getting things done. Seeing these things on a small scale, like with knitting, can help you see them in the rest of your life."

That's self-efficacy, baby.

Adam and I started talking guest list last night. Phew.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

clusters of crocus...silver and gold...

Today I am feeling like I am wasting my time a little bit being here at work. There are so many other things I'd like to be doing -

I want to sit and watch my bulbs grow. Yes, I do. I want to sit in the front yard, on the cement that's always covered in dusty dogprints and watch the hyacinth and freesia grow. Every morning when I pull the stuck and stubborn front door open, and trip down the three steps in my high heels to get to the car, it's like a whole new thing. They are growing so fast. I want to watch them.

I want to clean the fridge and chop vegetables for soups and stews and crockpot concoctions.

I want to hang out with my dog, for hours and hours. I want to use that weird red rubber brush that gets all the top hairs, and brush her for an hour, so I can let her romp all over the house and climb up on the couch and watch American Idol with me while I knit socks and cat-hats. Juno grew up lately - her legs got longer, and she looks more dog like and not so puppy like. She's got the most energy I've ever seen in an animal. I've been working on the concept of fetch - rather than the concept of grab-and-destroy, which she is familiar with already - and each one of these stupid dark days I leave too early and get home and it's cold and dark and I want SUMMER and now I am just whining. Whoops.

Yesterday I got a pedicure with my future sister-in-law, hate the color, but it was really fun to sit there and relax and just talk and talk. To be honest, I was a little nervous to hang out with her without a buffer, afraid we'd run out of conversation, but I shouldn't have worried. She is nice, and I can be sometimes too.

She loaned me her snake-thing for clogged drains, and Chris spent a while last night fixing our shower. It was such a pleasure to take one this morning, all clean and nice, instead of gross. He also fixed the short in the bathroom light switch! Now we just have to re-hang the door on the hinges, and the bathroom will actually be functional again.

We're holding a superbowl party at our house on Sunday, so the three of us have a cleaning date for Saturday. I miss Adam like crazy. It'll be nice to do housestuff with him. I feel like I haven't seen him in a week.

I bought new shoes last night, and now I need an occasion to wear them to, and an outfit to wear them with. Silly shoes. I love them.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

new template

You probably have noticed that the look of the blog has changed! I was bored with simplicity and wanted to jazz things up a little bit. I don't know how long it'll last, but for now, I love the details in all of the stitching. :) I also am proud of myself that I was able to go in and edit some of the html!!!

Today I work until 5, then head home and brush the puppy dog. She's shedding like crazy and the whole house just feels FULL of dog hair. The bathtub won't drain because of it. glug glug glug. So I need to brush her, a lot, vacuum, do my 16th straight day of P90X (WOOHOO!) and maybe even do some laundry and dishes. I am debating another batch of marmalade. I've done nothing but make that for the last 2 days and I might be burning out - but I still have SO MANY lemons, and it's really not thaaaat time consuming...

I have a few knitting projects I would like to get back to as well - I have the two kitty hats I am doing for Katy - one is done, just needs pompoms, and then I can start on the other. I also have yarn for my cousin's flower scarf, and I've got two separate pairs of socks half way done.

Today I had a meeting at work I was nervous about, and about 4 minutes before I was supposed to go into it, Adam called to apologize for being sort of grumpy last night, that he wished he hadn't said anything except how much he loves and appreciates me. I am feeling recharged to go and take care of errands and house stuff...all because one little sentence from him turns it into a chore I have to do, to something I want to do gladly in order to make our house and our life better. Silly how that little perspective change makes a huge difference.

Today is also the good-tv day - American Idol AND Top Loser. This is the first time I've watched either of those shows - but I have to say, there is something terribly fun about keeping up with a popular show.

I bought the new Weight Watcher slow cooker book - it looks amazing. I want to make all of the recipes. I wish it had more photos, and I wish I had more money for groceries!!! Man oh man do I like to cook.


This is the lemon tree in my backyard - behind it is a satsuma tangerine tree, and a grapefruit tree which hangs down from our neighbor's yard into ours. All three trees have exploded with fruit in the past few weeks, and I decided that it's time to do something about it!

I picked an entire laundry basket of the lemons, and a sink full of tangerines and grapefruit!

I chopped up the fruit into small bits, while keeping aside the seeds and pithy material. That stuff I gather into a small cheesecloth bag and boil with the fruit and water. The stuff in the bag creates the pectin - after it's boiled for long enough, I squeeze out the bag for the last bit of pectin, and then add sugar and boil some more! It turns a little goopier, gets a great color that's a shade or two deeper than it was at the beginning, and gets a fun froth on top.

Meanwhile, I've been boiling the lids and baking the jars, for a quick-style canning process! It has to be quick, or you miss the window to seal the jars.

voila! Marmalade!

Over the next 24 hours after canning it, they will seal completely - and they make little "pop" sounds - it's ridiculously fun to be in the kitchen when that's happening!

I'm going to be selling my marmalade - hopefully make some honeymoon money. :) If you are interested, let me know!