Baby Blocks!

I spent Saturday/Sunday in Santa Barbara for my friend Marina's "baby warming" - she is about 4 months along, and as this kid should grow up calling me Aunt Roya...I wanted to make sure I made a near-to-my-heart sort of present.

I agonized a little bit, actually - no idea what to make. I wanted to make sure I made something gender neutral (for practical and philosophical reasons), and I didn't want to make anything other people would make either...

So I started by finding my favorite book covers from when I was little - and I printed them on iron-on-transfer paper. My idea was to make a quilt using these book covers and yellow fuzzy fleece backing! Well...I accidentally ironed on a book cover that while it LOOKED like a Dr. Suess book, it was actually a spoof and not exactly baby-blanket appropriate.

So I decided to make "baby blocks" instead. They are each hand-sewn, with the book covers cut up into 3 inch squares, and that yellow fleece as the supplemental material. I stuffed them with hypo-allergenic batting, and put a bell in each one so it would make baby-attracting noise!

I also made a box for them to go in, using more book covers!

This was a super fun project, and I can think of about 8000 variations I'd like to make. Can't wait to do more :)

friendships and myers briggs tests

The executive director made us take the myers briggs test again for another meeting about our strengths. This is something like the 8th or 9th 3 hour meeting that's focused on the same topic. I liked it the first time.

Anyways, there was one line that was interesting in this analysis that I didn't catch last time:

"Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare."

I have a lot of people that I love, and even more than I like - and even MORE that I'm entertained by or admire. But there really have been remarkable few people that I feel have broken past the barriers to "intimate friendship." Even fewer when you take my family out of the mix. I can think of two "best friends" that I've had in my life - Tiffani and Marina. Tiffani was especially intense, since she lived so close (Marina has always been 3 hours or more away from me). I don't think I've ever had a friend quite like Tiffani - she got to a level of friendship with me that I feel almost unable to give to anyone else. I'd love to, trust me, but it just doesn't *work* - I can't force it, and I don't know how it came about to begin with. I remember the moment it happened, too. Our dog had escaped and T and I went on a walk through the neighborhood trying to find her. It was a magical walk. Then I moved to WI for a boy, and got more and more distant, and then when I came back I started CSULB and just stopped talking to her. It hurt her - and I didn't realize what I had done until much later. Now it feels like it keeps hurting me - not sharp-pain hurting, but a constant feeling that I had something that I am unable to get again. She hasn't spoken to me for years. I sent her a few apology emails, and once I got a one-line acknowledgement, but other than that - nothing. She got married to a man I'd never met. I'm getting married to a man she's never met. I had this friend and then I killed it.

I feel broken, sometimes. Inept. I like people, I like them a lot - I just have this wall when it comes to making lifelong friends. So it was kind of nice to read that sentence - that it's not that I'm broken, it's part of my personality trait. Ho hum.


okay so I felt glum for a while then went on my flickr account and looked at adorable photos of Juno when she was just a few months old. All better now.

the best part about being sick is the knitting

I always thought I was cheerful and optimistic. I have lately, however, come to the disgruntling realization that although I can be chipper, perky, happy - it usually is fairly dramatic, even when it's a positive sort of dramatic, and it's not particularly sustainable. I have been feeling more and more like my default mode is a negative one - when someone asks how I am, the first thing out of my mouth is a complaint. When I finish a movie, it's the parts I didn't like, that I mention.

I am straying from the 14-year-old-me thought that total and complete BLISS is what I am going for - I'd like my life to be pleasant, overall. Pleasant is what I am shooting for as my default mode. Not that I can't be pissed off, displeased, annoyed, or unsatisfied - but I want to CHOOSE those times. It's the default mode I am most concerned with.

I'd like to think it's most habit - not that I really am unhappy, just I've gotten into this negative rut. I'd like to think it's habit, because THAT, I can do something about.

For any goal, I like to have measurable objectives - but - this time around, I think I am just going to say that whenever the occasion comes up to give my opinion, I'm going to say something positive FIRST.



Next time we'll tackle the idea of intellect over emotion, control over emotions, choosing when to cry, and how to get what I want next week.

as for now, I am going to do more dishes, take vitamin c, drink a lot of water, and maybe give Marina a call. To combat the restless results of being sick for two days, I need to change my situation - even if it's just moving from couch to bed. Cleaning something would help, too!

marina's wedding invitation

My very best friend in the whole wide world, whom I met at a homeschooling conference in Sacramento in August, 1998 is getting married.


She refuses to do anything by the book.

Among the things she is doing for herself, rather than have someone else do them, is make her invitations. That's probably the most traditional thing she's doing at this wedding - sending invitations.

Anyways, I am trying to help her create a background, so here it is.