Cookbooks at the weight watchers meeting today were 1/2 off...so naturally I bought two of them. They're so pretty, I can't decide what I want to cook first. I need some serious grocery shopping time today - in the 9 days I was gone and the 4 I've been sick for, the contents of our fridge have dwindled down to a little bit of non-fat milk, 12 containers of laughing cow cheese, and aloe vera. Time for shopping!
Tonight I think I will make 3 ww recipes - 1: Winter squash soup with butternut squash, onions, carrots and parsnips, 2: lamb kabobs with mushrooms and red peppers, and 3: balsamic vinegar chicken. I will also be buying salad stuff to go with it - and maybe it's time for some new rice as well.
I don't feel as awful as I did, but I still feel run down. I would like to go home and go to sleeeeep. 14 days til the Turkey Trot, so I need to start training for a 5k all over again too. My house is CLEAN and wonderful - trying so hard not to leave those piles. I made curtains which makes a HUGE difference in the livability of the living room/kitchen. Today I have a very small pile of dishes to do, some light maintained-dusting, and I will clean the kitchen floor. It doesn't feel like Friday, it feels like Monday, since I haven't been to work all week - and I keep forgetting that I have the weekend! I have no idea what I am going to do this weekend, none, at all.
Watched Say Anything on VHS last night with Adam - remembered how much I adore John Cusack - especially young John Cusack, but really, all John Cusack. Had weird dreams of crooked fathers and Adam buying multicolored suits. Woke up before my alarm this morning, and despite taking time out to fold a whole load of laundry, was 15 minutes early to work.
WW meeting we talked about forming new traditions, especially activity based ones, around the holidays. Will remember this Thanksgiving to get up and MOVE. I would like to lose this extra 5 pounds in the next 2 weeks. I think I can, I really think I can - I just need to stick to my food/exercise. Today I had ww oatmeal for breakfast (2 pts), and a subway salad with olive oil/chicken (5 points). I am full feeling - with many, many points left for the day.
Got out one of my Alaskan cross-stitch patterns yesterday too - looking forward to working on that later tonight when I am done with dishes/cooking/etc. I want my house. I want my home. I am super-nesting-girl right now. When did I turn so agoraphobic? There is nothing nicer to me than my own living room.
Yesterday I drank tea while eating tangerines from my tree singing leonard cohen to myself, giggling quietly with satisfaction. I have it. It is mine!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
the fascinating saga of a sick-at-home person..
Have been going around this morning trying to clean up the little piles that collect when you are sick - the stacks of books and glasses by the bed, the little bits of trash from the immune-c packets, the knitting needles and skeins of yarn left by the couch where I abandon them after 2 minutes of interest... and in cleaning up this clutter I am realizing how dusty my house is. Doing every bit of laundry, including sheets, blankets and dishcloths, organizing dresser and computer desk, eating honey-nut cheerios with a chopped up fuji apple on top of it and way too much splenda, Bonnie Raitt playing on pandora. Above our windows we have the hardware already installed for curtains - maybe that would be a good project for today.
Adam works late tonight. We fell asleep reading Twilight aloud to each other last night. It's like reading the Boxcar Children all over again - very compelled by the story/characters, but DAMMIT I wish a better writer had thought of it. Maybe JK Rowling can do a re-write.
We had another installation in our series of Talking-About-Raising-Kids last night, only this one was a little grittier. This morning he said he'd had anxiety dreams about showing up at the Dodd house nekked. Let's interpret that one, shall we? I wonder why he is stressing this so much right now - I would like to have kids in the next 5 years, but it's another 5 years even after that before he needs to worry about school options, and by that time he'll KNOW his kid and it won't be an issue. I wonder why it's all coming up this week.
I had a moment of weakness that wasn't a big deal last night but I wasn't proud of, either. I am trying very hard to not do what we have coined "throwing attitude around" - in that it's a)an ugly face/expression, b)very self-defeating, c)makes me feel small-souled, d)adam hates it. It comes out in many situations, and after every single one if I stop and think, I can see how it would have been SO MUCH BETTER if I had just paused and-changed one little reaction. I've been doing better and better, and last night I woke up at a weird time and Adam was watching something on TV I didn't want to watch and I was just plain CRANKY and I picked on him for that reason - and I hate that as I am doing something, the smarter, calmer, not-cranky part of me is thinking "Roya, whatcha doing? You know that that is not the way to get what you want" but I ignore that part of me. Like I said - not the end of the world, just frustrating for me on my path to perfection (harharhar) when I CHOOSE the meaner option.
Anyways - I have one more load of dishes, a couple loads of laundry, and some dusting to do. Then fabric hunt, curtains, photos at karate, and making lunches for tomorrow. All to the tune of old recorded Gilmore Girls, I'm sure.
Adam works late tonight. We fell asleep reading Twilight aloud to each other last night. It's like reading the Boxcar Children all over again - very compelled by the story/characters, but DAMMIT I wish a better writer had thought of it. Maybe JK Rowling can do a re-write.
We had another installation in our series of Talking-About-Raising-Kids last night, only this one was a little grittier. This morning he said he'd had anxiety dreams about showing up at the Dodd house nekked. Let's interpret that one, shall we? I wonder why he is stressing this so much right now - I would like to have kids in the next 5 years, but it's another 5 years even after that before he needs to worry about school options, and by that time he'll KNOW his kid and it won't be an issue. I wonder why it's all coming up this week.
I had a moment of weakness that wasn't a big deal last night but I wasn't proud of, either. I am trying very hard to not do what we have coined "throwing attitude around" - in that it's a)an ugly face/expression, b)very self-defeating, c)makes me feel small-souled, d)adam hates it. It comes out in many situations, and after every single one if I stop and think, I can see how it would have been SO MUCH BETTER if I had just paused and-changed one little reaction. I've been doing better and better, and last night I woke up at a weird time and Adam was watching something on TV I didn't want to watch and I was just plain CRANKY and I picked on him for that reason - and I hate that as I am doing something, the smarter, calmer, not-cranky part of me is thinking "Roya, whatcha doing? You know that that is not the way to get what you want" but I ignore that part of me. Like I said - not the end of the world, just frustrating for me on my path to perfection (harharhar) when I CHOOSE the meaner option.
Anyways - I have one more load of dishes, a couple loads of laundry, and some dusting to do. Then fabric hunt, curtains, photos at karate, and making lunches for tomorrow. All to the tune of old recorded Gilmore Girls, I'm sure.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
home home home
Sitting in my robe at 10am listening to Patty Griffith and Allison Kraus on pandora, drinking cold english breakfast tea that I took from the resort in florida out of the "candy cane" striped ceramic cup that I made. My feet are cold, I am congested, watching my puppy pick up the sprinkler attachment and shake it in her teeth outside. I picked the first tangerine from our satsuma tree this morning while I was on the phone telling my boss I couldn't come in today, and I am waiting for Adam to wake up so we can share it.
Read all of Sandra's and Heidi's posts that I missed while I was gone, wondering what I am going to make for breakfast, wanting to go around and clean and knit and go for walks wearing scarves and the earrings I bought from the food court in Orlando, thinking about how I am content to sit here and listen to music and do not much else while I know Adam is in the other room, even though he is sleeping, but as soon as he leaves for work I will be feeling restless and sitting still will not be enough for me.
Yesterday we talked and talked about where we want to live, the children we will have, the lives we want to lead, unschooling and family. I feel buoyant today, despite the cough and cold. The robe I am wearing is incredibly soft, pink, bulky - his Aunt gave it to me for Christmas last year. I bought Adam's sister and my sisters the same souvenir n the Bahamas and that is important to me, somehow. Talking about giving Juno a last name, he suggested his - the name his dad uses for all of his shepherds. Thinking about the fantastic combination of families, if, when...
Gained 5 pounds over this vacation. Remembering that I have the tools to fix that, quickly. Getting back to my planning, my preparation. I have laundry in the garage to move along, and today I will cook the onion and fennel with white wine, under red pepper chicken, orange and green lentils, and broccoli. The Patty Griffith song that just came on is called "Florida" - good timing. I have bulbs to plant and green beans to string up. Rommel is laying in a stripe of sunshine in the backyard between the two citrus trees occasionally snapping at flies that are interrupting his nap.
I love my house, my home, Adam, the dogs, the fish, the ceramic dishes, the trees, the music, the gifts, the blogs, the yarn, the cleaning, the feeding. I am looking forward to a slow day with more Eva Cassidy playing, going from room to room and *touching* everything.
Read all of Sandra's and Heidi's posts that I missed while I was gone, wondering what I am going to make for breakfast, wanting to go around and clean and knit and go for walks wearing scarves and the earrings I bought from the food court in Orlando, thinking about how I am content to sit here and listen to music and do not much else while I know Adam is in the other room, even though he is sleeping, but as soon as he leaves for work I will be feeling restless and sitting still will not be enough for me.
Yesterday we talked and talked about where we want to live, the children we will have, the lives we want to lead, unschooling and family. I feel buoyant today, despite the cough and cold. The robe I am wearing is incredibly soft, pink, bulky - his Aunt gave it to me for Christmas last year. I bought Adam's sister and my sisters the same souvenir n the Bahamas and that is important to me, somehow. Talking about giving Juno a last name, he suggested his - the name his dad uses for all of his shepherds. Thinking about the fantastic combination of families, if, when...
Gained 5 pounds over this vacation. Remembering that I have the tools to fix that, quickly. Getting back to my planning, my preparation. I have laundry in the garage to move along, and today I will cook the onion and fennel with white wine, under red pepper chicken, orange and green lentils, and broccoli. The Patty Griffith song that just came on is called "Florida" - good timing. I have bulbs to plant and green beans to string up. Rommel is laying in a stripe of sunshine in the backyard between the two citrus trees occasionally snapping at flies that are interrupting his nap.
I love my house, my home, Adam, the dogs, the fish, the ceramic dishes, the trees, the music, the gifts, the blogs, the yarn, the cleaning, the feeding. I am looking forward to a slow day with more Eva Cassidy playing, going from room to room and *touching* everything.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
getting ready to leave for florida/bahamas!
My tooth infection was drained the last time I went to the dentist, and temporarily filled. The temporary filling proved just that, and has been missing for a few days now. I can't stop playing with it, making little sucking noises on the the hollowed-out-tooth. I am sure everyone around me is tremendously grateful, but every *once* in a while, it hurts in a weird hollow-achy-echoing sort of way, and so I keep messing with it...not that I want to hurt, but I have to keep testing it. Stupid intermittent reinforcement.
Anyways, I decided not to even call the dentist until I get back from my trip, because it's bearable now. I just don't eat on that side. My trip! My trip! I am leaving bright and early early early on Saturday morning! My mom is dropping me off at the office at 6:30am, where I commence Being In Charge of 40 people - 32 of whom have developmental disabilities. We fly to Orlando, stay at the Caribbean Beach Resort, go to Disney's Magic Kingdom for 5 days, then board a cruise ship and head out to the islands of Nassau and Castaway Cay - where I will be swimming with dolphins, para-sailing, and peering through glass bottom boats. We fly back on November 8th.
I am not quite comprehending that we are leaving the day after tomorrow. I'm still a little dazed. All organized - mostly - but disbelieving.
Today's so-strong-it-almost-knocked-me-over realization was how much I was going to miss Adam and my puppy dog. I had a fantastic morning with Adam today - it's nice when he doesn't have to work super early AND he wakes up while I'm still home. Last night I stayed up past my bedtime watching the movie Defiance - Adam begggged to put it on, and then fell asleep before the plot twisted even a little bit. It is not the type of movie I would normally choose for myself - I have a hard time watching anything emotional - rather, I have a hard time *choosing* to watch anything that makes me feel beyond light and fluffy. I am emotional enough - when I watch movies, I want to relax, not cry. However - I am usually *glad* when I watch emotionally-deep movies, because, let's face it, they're better quality than Dude, Where's My car? So anyways - I stayed up really, really late watching a lot of Jewish people die horrific deaths.
Anyways. Adam. Juno. My beautiful beautiful puppy dog and my amazing amazing man. Many mornings when I wake up, Adam and Juno are both still sleeping - Juno usually wakes up but doesn't move much - just follows me with brown eyes while I'm getting ready. Adam looks so good in our green sheets and blankets - secretly one of the reasons I picked out that color. I have a very hard time leaving the dogs and boy in the morning - when it's cold out and there is this wonderful October sunshine and I just want to stay in bed, one hand petting Juno, watching Adam's freakishly long eyelashes.
Too mushy for you? Sorry. I am all mush today. I am currently impressed with his ability and desire to always *improve* himself. The two of us being who we are butt heads in certain areas pretty damn frequently, but all the upset is worth it when I tell him something is important to me and I can SEE the work and effort he has put into understanding my needs more. It's an amazing feeling. I am feeling so lucky.
He won't be home when I get home tonight - so I am going to stop at the gym first with Tulip - I am going to walk for 5 minutes on the treadmill, run for 12, walk for 5 more, then do 38 minutes on the bike. That will cover what I was supposed to do yesterday, and what I am supposed to do today, with a few minutes extra to count towards my goal of 500 fitness minutes this month. I currently am at 365 minutes....so add up that, and I will need to do 75 minutes tomorrow to hit my goal!!!!
After the gym, I'll go home and put two butternut squash in the oven, and cook the lentils I bought today - I splurged on red AND green lentils, just to make a prettier plate. I have tracked my food fantastically well for the last week - and hope the scale will show it tomorrow at my weight watchers meeting. Even if it doesn't - because I seem to have a 1 week lag reaction time - I'll feel good about knowing I did it for a whole week. I plan on continuing it on my trip - I will be taking ww oatmeal and a bunch of fruit and other food with me to avoid crap.
I also want to take Juno for a walk tonight, and continue the packing process. I miss Adam already. My pirate costume is fantastic. Yay thriftstores.
I think that is all for now. I am all sorts of mixed feelings right now!
Anyways, I decided not to even call the dentist until I get back from my trip, because it's bearable now. I just don't eat on that side. My trip! My trip! I am leaving bright and early early early on Saturday morning! My mom is dropping me off at the office at 6:30am, where I commence Being In Charge of 40 people - 32 of whom have developmental disabilities. We fly to Orlando, stay at the Caribbean Beach Resort, go to Disney's Magic Kingdom for 5 days, then board a cruise ship and head out to the islands of Nassau and Castaway Cay - where I will be swimming with dolphins, para-sailing, and peering through glass bottom boats. We fly back on November 8th.
I am not quite comprehending that we are leaving the day after tomorrow. I'm still a little dazed. All organized - mostly - but disbelieving.
Today's so-strong-it-almost-knocked-me-over realization was how much I was going to miss Adam and my puppy dog. I had a fantastic morning with Adam today - it's nice when he doesn't have to work super early AND he wakes up while I'm still home. Last night I stayed up past my bedtime watching the movie Defiance - Adam begggged to put it on, and then fell asleep before the plot twisted even a little bit. It is not the type of movie I would normally choose for myself - I have a hard time watching anything emotional - rather, I have a hard time *choosing* to watch anything that makes me feel beyond light and fluffy. I am emotional enough - when I watch movies, I want to relax, not cry. However - I am usually *glad* when I watch emotionally-deep movies, because, let's face it, they're better quality than Dude, Where's My car? So anyways - I stayed up really, really late watching a lot of Jewish people die horrific deaths.
Anyways. Adam. Juno. My beautiful beautiful puppy dog and my amazing amazing man. Many mornings when I wake up, Adam and Juno are both still sleeping - Juno usually wakes up but doesn't move much - just follows me with brown eyes while I'm getting ready. Adam looks so good in our green sheets and blankets - secretly one of the reasons I picked out that color. I have a very hard time leaving the dogs and boy in the morning - when it's cold out and there is this wonderful October sunshine and I just want to stay in bed, one hand petting Juno, watching Adam's freakishly long eyelashes.
Too mushy for you? Sorry. I am all mush today. I am currently impressed with his ability and desire to always *improve* himself. The two of us being who we are butt heads in certain areas pretty damn frequently, but all the upset is worth it when I tell him something is important to me and I can SEE the work and effort he has put into understanding my needs more. It's an amazing feeling. I am feeling so lucky.
He won't be home when I get home tonight - so I am going to stop at the gym first with Tulip - I am going to walk for 5 minutes on the treadmill, run for 12, walk for 5 more, then do 38 minutes on the bike. That will cover what I was supposed to do yesterday, and what I am supposed to do today, with a few minutes extra to count towards my goal of 500 fitness minutes this month. I currently am at 365 minutes....so add up that, and I will need to do 75 minutes tomorrow to hit my goal!!!!
After the gym, I'll go home and put two butternut squash in the oven, and cook the lentils I bought today - I splurged on red AND green lentils, just to make a prettier plate. I have tracked my food fantastically well for the last week - and hope the scale will show it tomorrow at my weight watchers meeting. Even if it doesn't - because I seem to have a 1 week lag reaction time - I'll feel good about knowing I did it for a whole week. I plan on continuing it on my trip - I will be taking ww oatmeal and a bunch of fruit and other food with me to avoid crap.
I also want to take Juno for a walk tonight, and continue the packing process. I miss Adam already. My pirate costume is fantastic. Yay thriftstores.
I think that is all for now. I am all sorts of mixed feelings right now!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
video and website
I am really, really, really excited about my company finally embracing social networking sites in connection to the Walk for Independence! This is a video that we have ALL had our hands in (see if you can count the number of times I say I'm walking) - staff and clients have all contributed to this wonderful little video. Please go take a look, forward it to friends, send it to everyone you know!
Walk for Independence Video
If this encourages you to register, you can do so by going to This Website.
YAY!
Walk for Independence Video
If this encourages you to register, you can do so by going to This Website.
YAY!
Monday, October 19, 2009
joy
today I am feeling very grateful to my mommy. It's amazing how well a person can know another, and I definitely know that no one knows me as well as she does. Phew. It's a relief, actually, to be able to just SPOUT and have her not only understand what I'm saying, but be able to dig to the real meaning underneath.
Thinking about joy and choices today, and of using every little choice to move in a more joyful direction. Every choice I have - given the situation, which is the better choice?
I want this to become a habit.
Today I will be working til 2:00, then opening the house up from it's bug-bombing, then going to the dentist, then -something- that makes me happy or satisfied. Or maybe even just laying on my mom's couch recovering from the dentist. We'll see!
Thinking about joy and choices today, and of using every little choice to move in a more joyful direction. Every choice I have - given the situation, which is the better choice?
I want this to become a habit.
Today I will be working til 2:00, then opening the house up from it's bug-bombing, then going to the dentist, then -something- that makes me happy or satisfied. Or maybe even just laying on my mom's couch recovering from the dentist. We'll see!
Friday, October 16, 2009
ftw
next time I'm frustrated with my job, I would like to remember that right now, my work includes deciding whether or not I want to swim with dolphins or go parasailing on my cruise to the bahamas.
............yup.
............yup.
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