I WILL HAVE MY OWN ART CAMP.

It is a scary thing to realize my dreams and then say them outloud. Most people think I am good at that - but lately, I feel like my long-term goals and total desires have been overshadowed by feeling good in my day to day life. Exercising daily has been enough to satisfy me. But I am realizing that I need to stand outside and YELL MY DREAMS OUTLOUD - as scary as it is to admit what I want and then be held accountable.

But it's worth it now. I want it so much. I need this to come true. I am going to write it down everywhere I can. I am going to spend 10 minutes a day at LEAST working towards it - I am going to apply what I learned about fitness and nutrition to -

OWNING MY OWN ART CAMP.

I want it. I will have it.

It will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

stuff n stuff

toooday, had crazy dreams, woke up and went to the gym with adam. he went to work from there, I did 25 minutes of biking and 20 of elliptical and then walked home. made ww smoothie, did a little bit of laundry. swasthi came over and we went to return all of my xmas gifts - went to joanne's, ross, wallmart and the mall, where we succumbed to the sampling of wetzel's and split a cinnamon pretzel. Back home now, laundry in dryer, chicken in oven. Going to do dishes, make lunches for the next few days, and fold laundry, then get my stuff ready to go to R's (a supported living client) for my shift tonight. Stuff I need to get ready includes: phone charger, new Sparkpeople book (!!!), toothbrush, razor, clothes for work tomorrow.

Go straight from R's to work in the morning (my shift is tonight 10pm til tomorrow 8am). Maybe exchange costco gift on lunch break and buy dogfood. Work, go home, get sleep/work stuff ready, go to gym at 8pm, head to R's for 2nd shift at 9pm. Go to work in the morning from there.

Adam and Chris are going snowboarding over New Years, so today when I said goodbye to Adam at the gym is the last time I'll see him til the new year! Augh. Sad. I am feeling co-dependent. Trying to decide the best way to celebrate my solitary new years. Have Office marathon? Eat Thai food? Start a new quilting project and spread it out all over the living room?

There were 88gajillion people at the gym today. I wish they had preferred treadmill seating for those of us who are NOT on a new years resolution kick that will only last three weeks. harumph.

According to my self-weigh in today, I've lost my holiday weight. We shall see!

foudn the camera cord!

I have photos!!! I found the cord to the camera, finally. :) Here we have the last few months in photographic form...

Walk for Independence!!!

Hi,
For those of you who don't know, I work with adults with developmental disabilities at a fantastic non-profit in Orange County, CA. One of my big projects this year is putting on our FIRST Walk for Independence. The date is set for January 17th, in Huntington Beach.

This is MY baby project, and the success of it is hugely important to me, not just for my own accomplishment, but for the people I work with. We recently bought a building, and hold many of our events and meetings here, and this building - despite the fact that we work with people with disabilities - does not have an elevator. We are more than a little ashamed of this, and are trying very hard to rectify it - hence the fundraiser Walk event!

I recently was able to get most of the food for our walkers/volunteers donated by Mobile Taco Grill, but we still need to pay $260.00 for materials. I am trying to get this entire food cost donated. This means that I have a personal goal of raising $260.00 for the event.

I figure, I've got over 300 friends, right? ;) If everyone donated just ONE dollar, I could accomplish my goal! That's why you're getting this message. Please help! I figure everyone can afford a dollar!

If you can help me with my goal, you can send check/cash to Roya Sorooshian at Project Independence, 3505 Cadillac Ave. Suite O-103, Costa Mesa, CA 92626.

If you can donate more than 1 dollar, I would, of course, hugely appreciate that! Also - if you are interested in registering or volunteering for the event, please go to www.projectindependencewalk.org

THANK YOU for reading this message and for your consideration. I really appreciate it.

You can donate directly using paypal here:

ooooooofta. Getting that awful shaking-sore-throat-red-eyed feeling of sickness coming 'round the corner. Drinking TONS of water, took vitamins, but - blech. Half the office went home early today with headaches. There are only 3 of us left here. Thinking that maybe I can call it an early day too.

I hate to break my exercise streak even though I feel so bad. Luckily today is my long bike ride day, so I can sit and pedal and read Emily of New Moon or listen to Harry Potter.

After work, then the gym, I am going home, making some sort of dinner (taco salad?) grabbing clothes, project, pillow, blanket, and heading to Frank's to stay with one of our clients for the night. My shift is from 10pm-8am. Tomorrow morning on my way home I will stop at the gym and do 16 minutes of running and 10 on the elliptical. Again, if I need to take it easy and walk for three minutes between every two minutes of running, I will.

Then there's the YA holiday party, and the Walton's holiday party - both of which I would love to go to, and both of which I am hoping I don't feel too awful for. I also haven't spent ANY time with my fiance this week, and as he has to work on Sunday.......it will greatly depend on him.

Today I went on a little rant at a coworker about how much I love my home. It's nice to feel peaceful. I haven't experienced much of that in my life. Peace. Calm. Contentedness.

marriage and xmas and stuff

It's been so cold here lately, I've been finding myself just *tired* and worn out from it. Craving somewhere warm. I want sunshine that toasts and bakes and gets down to my boooonnees. Our bathroom door doesn't close all the way, so showers are chilly. the next free day Adam and I both have I need to remember to get him to help me fix it.

My ring is still sparkly, and I want to get back into the wedding-planning rush, but everyone is consumed with finals and Christmas. I supppppose I can wait until after xmas, when I will go buy tons of twinkle lights and gold ribbon, and start collecting. I will feel calmer when we have a date set.

I have been exercising a lot this week - feels good. Yesterday was the 4th day in a row. I went online and found a Sprint Triathlon training schedule, and am following that. So every day I do a minimum of 20 minutes of varying amounts of swimming, running, and biking. To meet my goal of 600 fitness minutes this month, I am also adding in random 10 minutes on the elliptical here and there. Today I am going to do 16 minutes of running, 11 minutes of elliptical, and then my interval-walking, which will equal about 16 minutes also. This bumps me up to 45 minutes which gets me 2 activity points for weight watchers instead of just 1 if I left it at 44. ;o)

Defrosting ground beef, tonight I'll make taco salad. Made enchiladas two ways this week. Trying to get better at normal-everyday cooking, rather than huge-production meals like I usually do. Also trying to make a whole week's worth of meals using the same flavor-profile so I can use the same ingredients.... so I don't buy a bunch of cilantro, use it once, and waste it, for example.

Juno is my favorite thing on this planet right now. She is so freaking beautiful that I can just stare at her for hours. I gave her a very thorough bath last week and now she is all clean and fluffy and soft and fantastic. Adam's been working super late this week, and falls asleep on the couch so he doesn't wake me up, and so Juno's been jumping up into bed with me. She's been so good - hasn't destroyed anything for weeks! She sure seems like she's growing up all of a sudden. Man I love that dog.

Adam's job is going really well, though it feels like I haven't seen him in weeks. He's right at the point where he is both getting off probation and getting qualified to be on his own at the park. It's an exciting week for him.

I bought all of my Christmas presents online this year - SUCH a good idea. I love not having to go shopping. I'm excited about them too, and I'm just waiting for this to start arriving so I can start the wrapping! Adam has to work this Christmas, so we are doing our thing Christmas Eve, and will see if his aunt is available for breakfast that morning. I'm going to at least stop by his aunt's house on Christmas, because we didn't go to Thanksgiving since he had to work, and now that we're engaged, I feel different now...I can go to his family's celebration in my own right, not just attached to him. I am really enjoying these subtle little changes in my role as we plan on getting married.

random bits of catching up

It has been a little while since posting on here - I haven't exercised once. :P I am blaming the weather! It's SO cold, and SO rainy, and I just DO NOT want to leave my bed or my couch or my fantastic old worn out gray comforter that Adam had on his bed when we first met so it reminds me of him in the most comforting ways. I am going for comfort foods, and I am not cooking as much, and I am not doing as much laundry as I kind of need to keep up with my work days, and it's too cold to shave my legs because the bathroom door is kind of broken and doesn't close all the way and the guys leave the toilet seat up and it bothers me because of how much this cliche bothers me, and I have my wedding dress and one of my two veils in my closet, it's so long that it takes up most of my shoe space, so my shoes have invaded adam's portion of the closet, I vacuumed our living room 3 times in the last 4 days, and there is still dog hair, we bought our christmas tree today at Lowes, I bought clay on friday but haven't had time to play with it, I took over Adam's netflix with about 86 movie requests, I've been listening to an excessive amount of Leann Womack, I walk into things frequently due to the fact that I can't stop looking at my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful diamond ring.

On the wedding front, I've been making our website (almost ready for the public, but not quite), trying on my dress and showing it off to any relative who will let me, and been enjoying the hell out of talking to Adam about our wedding, our marriage, our finances, our house, our christmas ornaments, etc. (All the important stuff, you understand.) Now, maybe it will hit me soon - but so far, wedding planning has not been the horrible stressful thing people have led me to believe it would be. So far, it's been incredibly fun. I am going to have the ceremony in my parent's backyard, and the reception in mine - it's going to be incredibly SMALL, my flowers will be delphiniums, larkspurs, and other purple and yellow wildflowers, I have 5 bridesmaids, I already have my dress and all I need are shoes, Adam's got his groomsmen, I think I want them to wear dandelions, I will rent a dancefloor, serve champagne, get a few outdoor heaters, and some round tables. I know what the cake should look like, I want japanese paper lanterns, and.......yup. I know the feeling I want to evoke, I know my personal priorities and Adam's priorities. More and more this wedding is feeling like OURS, which is good - it's fun making these series of small decisions and see how they shape the overall atmosphere. I spend a few minutes a day doing wedding stuff, but mostly I am just waiting for the after Christmas sales so I can buy a zillion twinkle lights.