Friday, March 12, 2010

who wins?

last night was a lovely night, and today has been a thoroughly enjoyable day. Last night Adam and I had plans for dinner, (all because filet mignon was on sale at ralphs and I was hungry when I went grocery shopping..whoops) but his sister got a flat and there were issues with her car, so he called around 7 to say that 8 wouldn't work for dinner, and maybe we should just do it another time.

Instead of getting resentful and not-nice, I was SO VERY HAPPY that my first reaction was "oh, that's totally fine - things happen." I almost bowled myself over with my magnanimous reaction to a change in plans. If you don't know me, I have a very hard time adjusting to change when I have a picture of how I want things to go in my head.

Anyways, when he got home, because I had been awesome, he could vent his frustrations TO me, instead of me adding to them. I know this is such basic stuff, but I want to pat myself on the back for being a supportive almost-wife. He watched some American Idol with me, then played video games with Chris while I cooked. I was low-key, low-pressure when I interrupted and asked if he wanted to take a break to come eat with me - and he did! We ate the BOMB filet that I made with baked potatoes and broccoli while watching Legend of the Seeker on netflix. He went back to his games and I went to bed - very happy, very content, very pleased with the entire night.

I was talking to my aunt julie about being married the other night - and the concept of "winning" in a relationship - whenever Adam and I argue, or if he wants to change plans or something, my reaction is to try to *win* - for myself, singularly. That's awful! I am trying very hard to adapt my thinking to winning as a couple, as a relationship - and the outcome of the specific fight tends to be very, very different when I think of it that way.

Anyways, I'm feeling good. Went to weight watchers today, lost 2.4 pounds! Had a good lunch of leftovers, and tonight is an A2A event! I finished another pair of socks I'd been knitting, have tons of wedding stuff for tomorrow, and plans to look at bridesmaid dresses with my sisters on sunday!


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